Messy Relationships, Blog 4: How Do I Really Learn From Others?

Hebrews 12:1 - “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

When I look back over my life as a believer (I came to the Lord 35 years ago), it is this great cloud of witnesses that have made a profound difference in my life. From John Barce, the man who led me to the Lord, to Russ Moir who invited me to a Bible teaching church; God has brought so many different people into my life who have pointed me to Jesus and His church and away from sin and Satan.

But just because God has brought people into your life, it doesn’t mean we automatically grow in these ways.

• Do you have someone in your life that you can ask anything? Can be completely honest about your struggles and doubts?

Early in my Christian walk, I had a man, Kelly Byrd, who was a solid believer. I could ask him questions about my walk with Jesus. In the Christian circle I was hanging around with, people would say the Lord directed me, the Lord wants me to, etc. So, I asked Kelly, do these people actually have a verbal conversation with God? I seriously didn’t know and needed a person to answer the “dumb” questions I had (BTW, his answer was that NO, people were NOT hearing directly from God. It was his Word, his people and circumstances that God used to direct people... and of course, His Holy Spirit).

• Are you in a community of believers who know you?

Another time in my life I was at an impasse about work. A Christian brother said, “perhaps God wants you to say yes”. I was fighting so hard to say no to this particular decision, I hadn’t even considered that God might have been speaking to me in that way. After his words, I considered it. And ultimately, it was the right decision, in hindsight.

In that case, it was living in community with people who KNEW me. They knew what was going on in my life and they felt the freedom to ask a hard question.

• When you are in crisis, do you run to your church community?

The saddest thing that I have experienced as a Christian is how people react who have troubles. Their tendency is to isolate themselves. They avoid interactions with those very people that God has brought into their lives. We had a couple in our Bible study where the husband lost his job. The strain of that caused them to slowly pull away. In the end, they ended their marriage.

In times of trial, though we want to isolate. That is the worst thing we can do. We need then, more than ever, to pursue relationships with other believers. We have to open ourselves up to the church for help!

John Maly, Elder